1. First and foremost, must be cute. And not cute as in awwww, cute as in I would carry this bag if I didn't have a baby in tow. And please don't bother telling me it doesn't matter what it looks like. I won't listen.
2. Must be functional and practical.
3. Must be neither too big nor too small.
4. Must not look like a diaper bag, meaning it must have the outward appearance of a "normal" bag, but must contain all the pockets, divisions, and compartments of a diaper bag.
5. Must not cost and arm and a leg (this is the kicker) i.e. no more than $100.
Now, I have found several bags that fit all the requirements except #5.
Exhibit A:

Kate Spade 'lenox hill - noel sky' baby bag
Hello. #1-check. #2, #3, #4-check. #5-$495??!!? Damn. Moving on...













