http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlHLyHw47AU&list=SL
Tiger Moms: Is Tough Parenting Really the Answer?
I recently came across this story, which got me thinking: what kind of mom am I?
First and foremost, I'm new mom-I realize my parenting style will continue to evolve in the coming years. We've a ways to go before dealing with academics, extracurricular activities, and the like but that doesn't mean I don't have ideals and a basic knowledge of how I (yeah, there's two of us but we're talking about moms here!) intend on raising my children.
Obviously most-myself included-will not fit into any one category or label. Right now, at Avery's age, I'm mostly Dolphin. That being said, I actually like the ideas of the Tiger Mom. I like that she pushes her children to do their best 100% of the time. To excel in everything. To not accept failure.
"The tiger-mother approach isn't an ethnicity but a philosophy: expect the best from your children, and don't settle for anything less."
I think many kids nowadays (who am I?) have far too much codding and privileges and far too little discipline. I don't buy into the "everyone wins/everyone makes the team/everyone gets a trophy" philosophy. I believe this does a disservice to them in the long run because in the real world, everyone does not win.
But in all reality, the hard-core, domineering aspects of the Tiger Mom are just not me.
No sleepovers?! And who has time to construct AND hand-write 20 practice math tests every night? Mommy needs wine.
In reality, I believe I'll be a Lion Mom. Or maybe a Lion Tiger. A Liger, if you will. I want Avery (and any future chil'rens) to succeed. I will push her. She will be expected to perform both academically and extracurricular-ly (see, Tiger Moms don't make up words) to the best of her abilities.
So a Liger who is part Dolphin. Yeah, that's me.
2 comments:
LOVED your post! I find myself identifing with the Lion mom. Now don't get me wrong there are things that I will not expect less than the best (i.e school, work, morals, etc.), but when it comes to finding themselves I want to be like our Father is with us...helping them and guiding them along the way. I think that failing is good for them, but how they deal with failure is even more important.
As for the tiger and dolphin, I really don't see myself relating to either of those...thanks for making me think!
We have had countless conversations about things like this so you pretty much know where I stand. I think a healthy mix of all types is okay and it will be my personal goal to strive for that. And education and hard work will always be number 1 in our house. I do think kids are too coddled now. If I threw a fit in the middle of Target because my mother told me I couln't have something, I did not, in the end, get the toy to satiate me. I got dragged out of there by my arm and severely scolded. My mom would leave an entire basket of groceries before she would give in to our bad bahavior. And you better believe we subsequently paid for "embarassing" her.
But the no sleepover thing and the calling names doesn't really settle well with me. First, the calling names? Come on now. We had a friend that suffered that behavior and it harmed her. And still haunts her. Amen that she has come out of it a MUCH better mother than what she had. I also think developing relationships with other children through play dates and sleep overs is a crucial part in developing social skills.
And your kids will inevitably encounter something that upsets them or that they don't like and I think it is okay to give into them once in a while. A little extra compassion during the hard times (no matter how ridiculous, *ahem* teenage angst) can go a long way sometimes.
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